Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Dear Mom

I think it's about time I tell you how grateful I am that you had me. You see, I'm the second child of your six. And at this point, I don't know if I'll ever make it past baby #1. It's been a rough 17 weeks. I never knew it would be possible for me to have such an awful aversion to food. I have to eat or else I throw up... but I never want to eat because the thought of food makes me want to throw up too. You of all people know how much I HATE throwing up. Before I was pregnant, I hadn't done that since my senior year in high school!

But there have been other issues as well... From the time Baby Bready here was the size of a cumquat, I was already waking up in the middle of the night (every night) having to pee. After getting back into bed, it usually takes me a good hour or two to fall back asleep. Oh sleep... How I love thee. All I want to do is sleep, but I have no time for that.

The nausea FINALLY went away! Hallelujah! The past 4 days have been glorious. Except for now I have this awful pain in my lower back constantly. I sit at my desk at work all day, and then I have to go sit in a desk at school for another couple of hours. Last night it was so bad that not even laying down in bed at night was bringing any relief.

Everyone keeps telling me it's worth it, yourself included. And I know you must be telling me the truth or else you would have stopped at Nikki and I would never have been born. And I can see it in you too. When I was putting all of our home videos onto DVD for you for Christmas I loved watching the ones of you filming your babies. I could hear the love in your voice so strongly. I think I'm starting to get a little glimpse of that, but I cannot WAIT to hold this baby in my arms. I know I will be instantly in love and it's going to feel so good.

I love this picture of you holding me. I am SO ready to be a mom and to finally understand a mother's love.

Love forever,

P.S. Here I am at 15 weeks. I'm gonna be HUGE seeing as I have such a short torso.


Audrey said...

You are already one cute prego lady! And I really love your hair! I wish I could pull off short like you!

Monica & Dave said...

Can you believe you have a REAL LIVE person inside your BODY?
So weird but so cute! Glad you are feeling better!
PS I have a short torso too. ughhhhh

Kris and Cath said...

Court, you are adorable!!!!

Hope you are feeling okay dear:)

Haley K said...

oh you're beautiful Court!! I'm so sorry the last little bit of pregnancy hasn't been the smoothest...and I feel ya on the pee thing! I'd get up between 3-4 times a night to sit on the comode...yikes. haha

I loved that this was a letter to your sweet mom :) It's awesome the perspective you get as you reach different stages and experiences that our mom's have been through... And i can't wait for you to hold your little one either!! That's when you'll be believe at love at first sight for sure :)

Hope you feel better & that you get some relief for you back pain! love ya court