Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Fulfillment

I've been a blog slacker. I almost always start my posts with a similar statement because I always seem to fall off the blogging wagon. But this time, I have a REALLY good reason...


This little girl has completely changed my life, in a very good way. I have always known I wanted to be a mother, but until Harper arrived, I didn't realize just how much I wanted that.

Harper has such a sweet spirit and when I hold her close to me, I can feel how close she is to our Heavenly Father. She just barely left his presence after all and I know that for certain.

She has strengthened my testimony of the Plan of Salvation immensely. I know my family will be together forever and I know that our loving Father in Heaven wouldn't want it any other way.  I know the love I feel for my baby girl pales in comparison to the love that our Father feels for each of us. So then how could a permanent ending at death even be conceivable??


Harper has brought me so much happiness. Whenever she wakes up during the night to eat, I go to pick her up and almost always get choked up, realizing again how amazing it is to be her mother. And when I lay her back down in her room and go back to bed, I instantly miss her terribly. I don't get a lot done during the day (including blogging) because I know how quickly she will grow and change and before I know it, she won't want to cuddle with me anymore. So I hold her close now and try to soak up every moment that I can.


Having her around has also had a wonderful affect on my marriage. (I won't do a full post, but happy 24th birthday yesterday to my AMAZING husband!!) Eric and I have become so much closer in this past month. I was so worried that having a baby would be taxing on our relationship and that due to the lack of sleep, we would be short with one another and fight more. But the exact opposite has happened. We are learning to work together in a way that would never have been possible without having children. I trust him more, I need him more, and I love him more.


I am so grateful for the timing of everything. God really does know best what we need. I was super baby hungry for quite awhile before we actually started trying to have a baby. But I knew that it wasn't time yet and I'm glad that the Lord has a plan for me and that He is willing to tell me what that is.

Call me crazy, but I am already looking forward to meeting the rest of my children. I know there are lots more up there in Heaven just waiting to join our family. But don't worry, I'll be reasonable :)

3 comments:

Audrey said...

Oh my heck I about died laughing from your delivery story- haha! Especailly when you were like "Eric was glad I wasn't a monster anymore" after the epidural. Sweet bliss, I am definitely going that route-I am a frickin baby when it comes to pain! She is so adorable and perfect, I'm so so so happy for you!

Haley K said...

Courtney...you have such a way with words :) reading about how much you cherish being a mom brought tears to my eyes! i can tell you're soaking up every minute of every stage of your sweet Harper...even those night feedings :) love you lots Court.

Amber said...

Oh my goodness! She is absolutely adorable. I am so happy for you and I am so happy you finally put pictures up of her!!! Not to mention... I was laughing through your whole birth story. I love it. Landon's birth story wasn't quite as intense... we'll have to see what happens this time. =) You guys are going to be amazing parents!