Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Flying While Pregnant

I can't say I wasn't warned, but flying, and especially a long distance, was not super pleasant at 30 weeks along. (It wasn't pleasant back in November when I was 11 weeks along either, thanks to the nausea.) As I mentioned in my previous post, it took me and Nikki 17 hours with layovers and such to get home from the Bahamas. On the second leg of our journey, I whipped out my phone (on airplane mode, thankyouverymuch) and wrote the following, for your entertainment:

Well, we're up to the 13th person out of 53 total on this plane (including the pilot, co-pilot, and flight attendant) that have now used the lavatory. How do I know this you ask? Well, a picture is always worth a thousand words...

Yes, I merely had to reach out my pointer finger, with my elbow still bent in a 90 degree angle in order to touch said lavatory. As an added note to this story, let me inform you that the lavatory door does not close on its own anymore in this old, tiny plane. Would you like to know how many businessmen chose to leave the door ajar upon exiting the facilities? At least 5. No, thank you, but I do not wish to sit here in all my 7-months-pregnant glory on the very last row of a very small plane and smell the business you just performed in the lavatory. I will simply reach out and close the door myself, hoping you can feel my glare burning into your back as you return to your seat, Mr. Businessman.

Also, to the lovely couple sitting in front of me: thank you for reclining your seats 10 seconds into the flight. That is so thoughtful of you since I'm (as mentioned previously) 7 months pregnant and cannot recline my own seat, therefore leaving me trapped between you and the lavatory, without the use of the tray as there is not enough room back here for my belly AND the tray. Plus, I'm really glad you guys are now closer to me than the lavatory door because I most definitely wanted a close-up view of your frequent, and might I add noisy, make-out sessions. And yes, despite your nasty glares, I will continue to shuffle my playing cards as loudly as possible as a distraction from the miserable situation in which I have found myself. After all, if you had kept your seat in the full upright and locked position, my cards would not be right next to your precious ears.

1 comment:

D. Brack and Kelly Mulliner said...

You'd think that getting away from Eric would get you away from the farts and anything like it... but, I guess not. Sorry it was a rough ride, though I'm not too sorry for you... it was the Bahamas.